I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Im part way to drunk.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
