He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
