In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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