Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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