That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
