I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
