doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
