i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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