My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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