Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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