batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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