Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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