I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
