I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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