So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
