Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
