nut hugger
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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