He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We had to coat check the pizza.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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