i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
