I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I want her autograph on my taint
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
