Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
