i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
