..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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