I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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