WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
