She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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