a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
