are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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