I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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