my mouth tastes like poor choices
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
