you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I don't deserve a penis
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
