and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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