He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
