Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
