Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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