you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
