found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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