you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
