so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
