I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
