I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
