My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
