I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
