Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It's just like the Real World with babies
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
MIDGETS
????
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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