Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
