Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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