You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
