Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
