I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
