You work out of a Hotel?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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