he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
